THIS BLOG IS RETIRED

If you are checking this blog out, thanks . . . but I've switched sites. With a new year comes a renewed commitment to writing, but I needed a fresh start. So, if you'd like, go check out http://corymurman.blogspot.com. Happy reading.

The Murman Empire Strikes Back

I haven't "blogged" in four and a half months. I could make a ton of excuses, but I have no good ones stored up. I guess I could always throw every instance of ignorance, apathy, procrastination, and laziness upon my impending marriage, but that gets about as old as having to answer everyone to whom we sent "Save the Date" cards when they ask, "So, when is your wedding again?"

And, since I want people to come to the wedding and/or send us a sweet wedding present (come on, espresso machine!!!), I hold back my answer of "whatdoyouthinkwespentallthattimemakingthosenicesavethedatecardsfor?????" and just say, "November 24, the day after Thanksgiving." I'm programmed like R2-D2 on that one.

So, I "strike back" into the blogging realm with some good sarcasm, but I don't do so for the sake of saving face. For what it's worth, this is a free website, and it's only a weblog. Instead, my return comes in strong opposition. With football season beginning today, my sense of competition has been stoked, and who better to exercise my competitive wits against than my friend, musical cohort, and now blogging nemesis, Brent Fisk?

The guy started picking a fight by insulting Walt Disney's lovable, idiot, inferior character named Pluto. Sure, the whole scientific world started talking about how Pluto was only a "poser" or "dwarf," and sure, Pluto is a moron in comparison to Goofy, but Pluto should never be publicly humiliated before the dozen or so readers subscribed to Brent Fisk's weblog (his little pet name for himself on xanga is "steephill").

So, I declare war. Why? Because those who declare war on a blog against another blogger are complete dorks who are craving some sort of competitive attention, and that describes me to a "T" (or, to a "C"????). Also, just as picking a fight on a football field usually stirs up others--those who have been looking at one another and wanting to fight the whole game--to join in fighting, I hope to get others to jump on in. I mean, just go look at Brent's profile picture: he has this look that says, "Yeah, so w-t-f are you gonna do about how badass I am?" I think that deserves some good ribbing.

To be fair, Brent has an awesome video on his blog about going to Joshua Tree National Park. Enjoy the artistry of the video...and then respond with sarcasm and guffaws.

Let's get it on....

Excitement

I'm not doing a full blog entry right now, but let me just list a few exciting things going on.

1) I just took my oral exams yesterday to complete my MA in Religion degree from HSU. The teleconference went excellently, and I am now a Master.

2) I interviewed for a promotion with KP yesterday, and it went well. We'll see what happens in the next few weeks.

3) I'm thinking seriously about proposing to my girlfriend soon. I can't give too much of my plan, though; she might read this.

4) Texas people are coming out this way. First of all, Brent Fisk. Now, the Barnes crew. I am so extremely pumped about that.

So, the month of April is shaping up to be a huge month for me.

Please note these two things: Yes, I'll start blogging again soon, and yes, I am refusing to use exclamation points for any of these sentences, despite the greatness and gravity of all that is occuring. Exclamation points sometimes cheapen my thoughts.

But trust me; I'm definitely excited. I'm down-right about to piss myself. But that's just the coffee.

Random

I really enjoy random humor. It's actually funny to me, as opposed to the cowardice of making fun of other races, blondes, or people from Arkansas, which is similar to the stupidity of destroying the beauty of sex by telling ridiculous stories of b___jobs and orgies. My hunger for the random has been overwhelmingly satisfied by outlets such as Homestar Runner (www.homestarrunner.com), Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, the great films The Three Amigos and Dumb and Dumber, and some of the greatest random people I met during my tenure at Hardin-Simmons University (Adam Barker, Aaron Saunders, and the great Sam Grammer top my list).

So, during a very boring afternoon at work today, I have come across a new (to me, that is) website with great random humor: McSweeney's Internet Tendency (www.mcsweeneys.net), paricularly the "Lists" section (/links/lists). Here are some enjoyable ones:

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State Songs, If They All Suggested the Apathy of Idaho's "Here We Have Idaho."

Check It Out, Dude, I Think That's Florida

Well, If You Insist, Then I Guess I'll Take Indiana

Hey, Is That Oregon? Oh, My Mistake, It's Washington

Hey, Kentucky, How You Doin'?

Texas, Does This Mole Look Irregular to You?

I Was Only Born in Arizona, Then We Moved When I Was 2

No, This Is the Other Carolina, but It's an Honest Mistake

Please Pass the Salt, Wyoming

I Don't Even Know Why I Try With You, Arkansas

To Maine It May Concern

Do You Like Nevada? If So, Check This Box

What Are You Going to Do, It's Michigan, You Know?

Kansas Loves Its Zoloft

Utah: The State Version of a Polite Nod in the Office Hallway

Minnesota, Land of Minimum Expectations

The Collective Sigh of Florida

Another Day, Another Delaware

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Socially Awkward Situations During Which It Would Be Acceptable to Mess with Texas.

Texas shows up to the party already drunk with the girlfriend nobody likes.

Texas partied too late, asks to copy homework.

Texas asks if it would be "cool to hook up with your ex."

Texas has a habit of spending more time than needed in the bathroom.

Texas bogarts the remote just before Lost.

Texas demonstrates little respect for "personal space."

Texas finds and eats the little snack cakes you've been hiding in the back of the pantry.

Texas needs you to cover rent "just until I get back on my feet, man, I swear."

Texas brings up an anecdote about his recent colonoscopy.

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I Know Not????

So I have now resigned to fact that I am a deep person. This is not news to me, but people who have only known me a few months are telling me that I'm deep. Twice last night at my company Christmas party I had co-workers say, "Cory, we know you're a deep person." Ok, I get it; I'm deep. I won't deny it.

Not that I am afraid of being deep or concerned about what others will think, but residing in the depths wears out both me and everyone around me. Philosophizing takes great amounts of endurance from within, so sometimes I would much rather go to bed or watch a stupid movie--just hang out on the surface for awhile. Being that I am a spiritually sensitive person as well, I struggle to find ways to practice Christian spirituality and not be so deep all the time.

And trust me: I find much success and joy in being on the surface. I enjoy a good round of laughter after I somehow trip myself and fall in a puddle of mud. I consider The Three Amigos and Dumb and Dumber to be two of my favorite movies ever. I visit Homestarrunner.com on a weekly basis just to laugh at random nonsense.

Be that as it may, I cannot avoid my depth. It is just the way God wired me. And as I learned in a past dating relationship (which resided on the surface for most of the relationship), I have a hard time maintaining any kind of human relationship without ever sharing that part of myself. Those with whom I have drawn closest connect with me there. We laugh about goofy, asinine thoughts, while also trivializing over the most intricate of ideas. I love those late nights we've stayed up laughing and crying. It's great fun for me.

The deep brings with it one trump card, though: We will never traverse the extent of the deep. Depth always runs deeper than I or anyone else can go. Mystery is inevitable.

The deep makes us resign to one final answer: I just don't know. I'm not pessimistic enough to think that we cannot ever really know anything, but I also cannot believe that my mind could ever grasp anything in its absolute fullness.

Experts in whatever field or venture always encounter inconsitencies and random problems, no matter how thorough are their research and knowledge. I have, at times, been frustrated by the field of science, which attempts to exhaust the knowledge of the universe; it's a fruitless endeavor. Now, though, I think I could be a scientist of sorts, were that my dream, simply because being a scientist would help me understand how little I can ever truly understand.

And this is why I love growing up. The older I become (and I'm still so wet behind the ears), the less I know. To be certain, I know so much more, in quantity and quality, than the day I came wet and crying from my mother, but with more experience comes and worldview that is constantly expanding. 15 mL of knowledge seems larger in a 50 mL cup than 100 mL of knowledge in 1000 L tank.

But I would much rather my tank continue expanding than try to fill up a smaller cup. Once the 50 mL cup is full, that's all I get, and the universe is too huge to stop there.

Words to ponder today: Try not to be an expert today; let the depth of mystery take you over. The warning here, though (and please take heed), is to beware of the source of your mystery. It's great to be taken over, but black holes can tear you to pieces.